Chapter 7: Seeking asylum from myself

I found myself close to the city now, on the rooftops. Everything was a blur. It always was when I was like this. Although, it was just one time. One time I felt like I was out of control… After I lost my dear mother… I had to run this out of me; it had to stop, or else I would break completely. So many horrible things happened the last time, before I could find a way to control it and push it back down inside of me. I killed people. Lots of innocent people. People whom I will never forget.

Their faces looked back on me, begging me, screaming, crying… all of the things my demon thrived on. Even recalling them brought him joy, tearing into me again. At the time, it felt good, my human part had given up and let him rule over and soothe the ache that would never leave me. The thought of her still brought me to my knees, the grief that would never go away. No matter how many years I lived, or how many people I helped, her death would always be my fault.

I stopped now, standing under the stars, looking up, I thought I could drown it, like I had so many times before. The rain fell steadily, the searing on my skin amplified by the demon forcing his way out, but it was uncontrollable. The people around me were in danger, and I couldn let this happen… Not again.

This is who you are.

Before I could think, I headed towards home. The rooftops got taller and taller, and I was on the skyscrapers… I looked around, trying to figure out where I was. My running brought me here. Fate had brought me here… Lena.

I wasn far from her house. Lena. She is what I needed. That calming touch, it could help me again, right?

I stood on the rooftop, knowing I couldn let anyone see me. I couldn just use the front door and ask for her; I would have to drop onto her balcony and break in. She wouldn be happy. not with me just barging in, but she would have to understand, I couldn not come to her. I looked down, trying to remember which was her floor jumping down, onto a balcony, peering through the window. Not her place, some rich family. I pushed off, onto another, making sure not to be seen. And then another. I had to find her… Finally, I went upward, to the top floor, and crawled to the balcony. There she was, sitting on the floor, her legs crossed, eyes closed, and her hands lifted in the air.

I stumbled forward now, tripping over a carpet. She opened her eyes and looked out. The world seemed to slow as the rain pelted me now, and it felt like fire rippling over me just looking at her. Lenas eyes squinted opening with surprise when she realized it was me. She ran to the doors cautiously opening them, not daring to step out. I wonder how I looked to her right now? I sniffed the air…

No fear…

She started to chant, walking towards me. I could feel the fire burning through me. It wasn enough, the monster raged back now, lashing out at her. I tried to stop it, but it was too powerful. Before I could blink, she was in my arms, her face still calm, looking up at me she spoke,